Slowness

Perhaps I’ve learned life from these Northern things, nothing comes quick & lovely. Life is a slow bloom sitting beneath the husk of the bud. All beauty lies encased in the darkness, long overdue—the pear blossoms shyly snug, the grass holding back its green. 

I lay, encased, awaiting the sun, the warmth, the breath of life & time. But when I bloom, will any remain to see the soft brightness & subtle sweetness I’ve been slowly becoming, or will I be lone in my little field—a flower, swaying in the gloom?

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4 thoughts on “Slowness

  1. Lovely, but sad. I think it would be stronger, have a stronger feel if the last word was sun. Being alone in the sun is just as lonely, but has a stronger sense of purpose. The flower’s purpose is not to be surrounded by other flowers, but just to be for her own sake. That is enough.

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      1. I apologize. I write poetry too, and it’s disheartening when someone makes suggestions. It’s my poem, not theirs and I was saying what I needed to say whether they like it or not. I wasn’t sure if I should say anything, but the poem was just so strong for me until I reached that last word, so I couldn’t resist. Forgive me. You write beautifully.

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      2. Once upon a time, I would have been offended. I reread what I wrote and inserted your suggestion and I not only understand but appreciate it.
        That being said, it was a flower in the gloom, because, despite the lack of warmth or sun, it will bloom. I just thought it unlikely you’d want an explanation of the wording choice. Also, as you know, writing is only 50% about the writer. So what a reader thinks should be noted, humbly ascertained for merit because it can make you a better writer. Thank you for your thoughts. They are 🙂 duly noted.
        I think the whole thing with writing in quick unedited fashion online is to see how it is received. I’ve been writing long enough to care, but not care too much. I’m not likely to go back and edit these online, but when I transfer them onto paper, I do often rewrite, compile and edit. So I’ll keep your thought in mind. The edit is likely in the early part of the piece rather than the final line so that it ends as I felt it originally would.

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